Mix 6oz self-raising flour with 3oz suet and half a teaspoon salt. Add 3.5fl oz cold water and mix until soft. Roll out to a rectangle.

Chop an onion and mix with about 4oz bacon, chopped, and 2–3oz mushrooms. Seasona nd spread on the pastry; dampen the edges and fold it up. Glaze with milk.

Cook on a greased baking tray for 45 minutes at 200°C.

The only useful thing I learned to cook in a whole year of home economics lessons in my first year at secondary school.